There’s something quietly radical about a celebrity who refuses to be one thing. Nico Tortorella has spent the last decade dismantling the boxes Hollywood usually builds for its stars — gender-fluid, polyamorous, sober but not by the book, and covered in ink that tells a story of reinvention.
Born: July 30, 1988 ·
Age: 36 ·
Known for: Scream 4, Younger, The Walking Dead: World Beyond ·
Sobriety: 11 years (as of 2024) ·
Relationship status: In a polyamorous marriage with Bethany Meyers ·
Self-identified gender: Gender-fluid / non-binary
Quick snapshot
- Married to Bethany Meyers (2018) (ABC News)
- Polyamorous / ethical non-monogamy (ABC News)
- Practices the “3-3-3 rule” for intimacy (Call Her Daddy transcript)
- Actor known for Scream 4, Younger, The Walking Dead: World Beyond (All American Speakers)
- Also a model and podcaster (ZSC Entertainment)
- Published poetry book “All of It Is You” (ZSC Entertainment)
Seven key facts about Nico Tortorella at a glance — a biographical profile that stretches far beyond the typical celebrity bio.
| Label | Value |
|---|---|
| Full name | Nico Tortorella |
| Date of birth | July 30, 1988 (All American Speakers) |
| Place of birth | Chicago, Illinois, USA |
| Occupation | Actor, model, podcaster (ZSC Entertainment) |
| Spouse | Bethany Meyers (married 2018) (ABC News) |
| Notable works | Scream 4, Younger, The Walking Dead: World Beyond (All American Speakers) |
| Gender identity | Gender-fluid / non-binary (Audible) |
Tortorella’s public identity relies on naming their fluidity — gender, sexuality, sobriety — in precise terms. The catch: each label carries expectations, even if the point is to escape them.
What is Nico Tortorella’s gender?
How does Nico Tortorella describe their gender identity?
- Publicly identifies as gender-fluid and non-binary (ABC News)
- Uses they/them pronouns consistently (ABC News)
- In a 2021 interview on Call Her Daddy, Tortorella described themself as a “queer, nonbinary, bisexual, happily married, polyamorous/non-monogamous human being” (Podscripts / Call Her Daddy transcript)
Tortorella uses multiple descriptors — nonbinary, gender-fluid, queer — that overlap but aren’t interchangeable. For a public figure, this level of specificity is unusual. Most celebrities settle on one label and let the press repeat it. Tortorella insists on the full spectrum.
Has Nico Tortorella always identified as gender-fluid?
- Reportedly came out as sexually fluid in 2016 (Call Her Daddy transcript)
- Publicly came out as gender-fluid in 2018 (Audible)
- Their memoir Space Between, released in 2019, explores the evolution of their identity (ZSC Entertainment)
The pattern: Tortorella’s public identity emerged in stages — sexual fluidity first, then gender identity, then the full architecture of polyamory and sobriety. Each step added a layer, and each layer was described in their own words before the media could frame it for them. For a celebrity operating in a culture that demands simple answers, that sequencing was deliberate.
Is Nico Tortorella in a polyamorous relationship?
Who is Nico Tortorella married to?
- Married to fitness entrepreneur Bethany Meyers since 2018 (ABC News)
- Both identify as gender-fluid and use they/them pronouns (ABC News)
- In a 2019 interview with ABC News, Tortorella said polyamory is “the ability to create space for more than one person at any given point” (ABC News)
What does polyamory mean for Nico and Bethany?
- The couple practices ethical non-monogamy (ABC News)
- They reportedly have been in a polyamorous relationship for over a decade (YouTube / E! News)
- They reference the “3-3-3 rule” as a communication tool: three minutes of eye contact, three minutes of breathing, three minutes of touch each day (Call Her Daddy transcript)
The trade-off: polyamory in the public eye means constant scrutiny of a private arrangement. Tortorella and Meyers have navigated this by being unusually transparent, which in turn creates a feedback loop — every new interview invites another round of questions about boundaries, jealousy, and logistics that most couples never have to answer.
Is Nico Tortorella sober?
How long has Nico Tortorella been sober?
- Started their sobriety journey around 2013 — 11 years as of 2024 (Audible)
- Specifically sober from alcohol, which Tortorella called their “poison” (Audible)
- In a 2019 interview, Tortorella described their sobriety as going “great” (ABC News)
What role does kratom play in Nico’s sobriety?
- Tortorella uses kratom, a plant-based substance, as part of their recovery (Audible)
- They have described their sobriety as “fluid” — not abstinent from everything, but alcohol-free (Audible)
- This approach has sparked questions about what “sober” means when plant medicines are part of the protocol (Audible)
Kratom is not FDA-approved and is classified as a “drug of concern” by the DEA. For Tortorella, it’s a personal choice that works; but for any reader considering the same path, the regulatory and medical landscape is different — and riskier — than Tortorella’s public statements convey.
The implication: Tortorella’s sobriety narrative challenges the “all or nothing” model. They are sober from alcohol, not from everything. That distinction matters in a recovery culture that often treats any exception as a relapse. For a public figure, making that distinction visible is itself a statement.
Does Nico Tortorella have any children?
Are Nico and Bethany planning to have children?
- As of 2024, Nico and Bethany do not have children (Audible)
- They have expressed openness to having children in the future, but no confirmed timeline (Call Her Daddy transcript)
What is the “3-3-3 rule” and how does it relate to parenting?
- The 3-3-3 rule is a daily intimacy practice: three minutes of eye contact, three minutes of focused breathing together, three minutes of touch (Call Her Daddy transcript)
- Tortorella has described it as a tool that maintains connection in a non-traditional relationship structure (Call Her Daddy transcript)
- Whether the rule would adapt if they became parents remains unclear
What’s not settled: there’s no public statement from either Tortorella or Meyers about a concrete plan for children. The openness is real, but the timeline is intentionally vague — another area where labels (parent, nonparent) don’t fit yet.
Does Nico Tortorella really have all those tattoos?
What is the meaning behind Nico’s blackout tattoo?
- Nico has a prominent blackout sleeve — a large area of solid black ink covering previous tattoos (ZSC Entertainment)
- The blackout covers tattoos from an earlier period and symbolizes rebirth and transformation (ZSC Entertainment)
- Tortorella has discussed the tattoos in multiple interviews as part of their evolving physical identity (ZSC Entertainment)
The blackout sleeve is a visible record of change — literally covering past chapters with new ink. For someone whose public identity has shifted every few years, the tattoos function as a physical timeline. The exact count is unclear, but the intention is documented.
“I am not sober from everything. I think of my sobriety as fluid.”
— Nico Tortorella, in a 2019 interview with Audible
“Polyamory is the ability to create space for more than one person at any given point.”
— Nico Tortorella, speaking with ABC News (2019)
The pattern running through every aspect of Tortorella’s public life — gender, relationships, sobriety, even their tattoos — is the same: clear naming of what they are, paired with an equally clear refusal to be pinned down. For a celebrity in 2024, that might be the most radical position of all. For audiences trying to understand a figure who defies easy categorization, the lesson is that labels are starting points, not final destinations.
Confirmed facts
- Nico Tortorella identifies as gender-fluid and non-binary (ABC News)
- Married to Bethany Meyers since 2018 (ABC News)
- Sober from alcohol for 11 years (Audible)
- Uses kratom as part of recovery (Audible)
- Has extensive tattoo work including a blackout sleeve (ZSC Entertainment)
What’s unclear
- Whether Nico and Bethany have specific plans to have children
- Exact number of tattoos
- Frequency and dosage of kratom use
- Detailed application of the 3-3-3 rule in daily life
Timeline signal
- July 30, 1988: Born in Chicago, Illinois (All American Speakers)
- 2011: Role in Scream 4 (All American Speakers)
- 2013: Began sobriety journey (Audible)
- 2015–2021: Starred as Josh on TV series Younger (All American Speakers)
- 2018: Publicly came out as gender-fluid; married Bethany Meyers (ABC News)
- 2019: Published memoir Space Between (ZSC Entertainment)
- 2020–2021: Role in The Walking Dead: World Beyond (All American Speakers)
- 2024: Discussed 11 years of sobriety and kratom use (Audible)
The trajectory is clear: each major life shift — sobriety, coming out, marriage, public career — happened in sequence, not all at once. For readers mapping their own journey, the timeline shows that layers of identity can be built over years, not overnight.
What’s next
Tortorella remains a working actor, podcaster, and public speaker. Their ongoing projects include advocacy around gender identity and sobriety, with no indication of slowing down. For anyone following their career, the open question is whether the next chapter will include children, a return to TV, or another reinvention entirely.
en.wikipedia.org, podcasts.apple.com, polyinthemedia.blogspot.com, intothegloss.com, thedailybeast.com, imdb.com
For a deeper look at their evolving identity, readers can explore Nico Tortorellas personal journey which covers similar themes of gender, sobriety, and polyamory.
Frequently asked questions
What is Nico Tortorella’s net worth?
While exact figures are not publicly verified, estimates from celebrity net worth trackers place Tortorella’s net worth in the range of $1–3 million, accumulated through acting roles, modeling, podcasting, and book sales. No primary financial disclosure confirms the amount.
Who is Nico Tortorella married to?
Nico is married to Bethany Meyers, a fitness entrepreneur and founder of the inclusive workout platform be.come. They married in 2018 (ABC News).
How did Nico Tortorella become famous?
Tortorella’s first major film role was in Scream 4 (2011). Widespread fame came from playing Josh — a love interest opposite Sutton Foster — on the TV Land series Younger, which ran from 2015 to 2021 (All American Speakers).
What is kratom?
Kratom (Mitragyna speciosa) is a tropical tree native to Southeast Asia. Its leaves produce compounds that can have stimulant-like effects at low doses and opioid-like effects at higher doses. It is not FDA-approved for any medical use and is classified as a “drug of concern” by the U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA). Tortorella has spoken about using kratom in their sobriety journey, but the substance carries known risks including dependency and side effects.
How many tattoos does Nico Tortorella have?
The exact number is not publicly documented. Tortorella has multiple visible tattoos, including a prominent blackout sleeve on one arm, but has not provided an official count. Estimates from fan accounts and interview references suggest dozens of individual pieces, but no verified total exists.
What is the 3-3-3 rule for intimacy?
A daily practice Tortorella and Meyers use to maintain connection: three minutes of eye contact, three minutes of focused breathing together, and three minutes of touch. Tortorella shared it as a communication tool in a 2021 interview (Call Her Daddy transcript).
Does Nico Tortorella have a podcast?
Yes. Tortorella has hosted and appeared on various podcasts. The most notable is The Love Archive, co-hosted with Bethany Meyers, which explores relationships, identity, and culture. They also frequently guest on major shows including Call Her Daddy.
Tortorella’s refusal to be pinned down means the only honest biography is one that leaves room for what comes next. For the reader trying to understand anyone who refuses to fit a single box, the lesson is that identity is built, not found — and the labels are tools, not cages.
Alex Chen is Editor-in-Chief at Reef Brief, overseeing editorial standards, publication decisions and corrections.